IVF

This week in the US it is Infertility Awareness week, in June it is World Infertility Awareness month. 1 in 6 couples struggle with fertility with many turning to IVF to help them.

Two years ago I started my IVF journey as a single woman. At my age I am considered ‘geriatric’ which is not pleasant. I am also classed as obese according to my BMI. So, I had a few things against me before I even started. It is also a really expensive process. Though Medicare does pay a partial rebate.

I wasn’t completely alone though. My family has been really supportive and I had a couple of friends who were with me along the way as well.

IVF is not an easy process and it is not a guarantee of having a baby. I highly recommend anyone going through the process or thinking about it to watch Big Miracles on 9Now.

One of the hardest parts is all the hormones. They completely changed my body and affected me in a way I did not realize. I was exhausted and so emotional. I also didn’t take the time to talk through the process with people when I became overwhelmed by it all.

My first egg retrieval I managed to get two embryos which was pretty amazing. The first one was implanted and I got the phone call that I was pregnant. I was so excited. I never thought I would be so lucky to get pregnant in the first try. Unfortunately when I went in for a scan at 8 weeks the embryo had not progressed and I was told it was not going to. I was given three options. I could wait for my body to naturally expel the fetus, I could take a medication to help it pass or I could have a surgical procedure to remove all the tissue from my uterus. I chose the third option.

It was pretty bad. I woke up from the procedure crying hysterically. The hospital where I had it done was so understanding. They gave me a private room to wait, and they let both my parents come and sit with me.

After I woke up and was crying, one of the nurses held my hand and cried with me. They then took me back to my room where my parents were waiting.

The physical and mental toll was huge. I also just didn’t want to talk about it. One of my best friends had recently lost her father and I didn’t feel for awhile that I had a right to talk about it, that it wasn’t as tragic. I also returned to work too quickly and tried my second embryo before really recovering properly. That embryo didn’t take.

I did a second egg retrieval. Again I got two embryos that were even better than the first two. But the first transfer didn’t take. At that point I didn’t feel like trying my final embryo and just assumed I would never have my own child.

What I needed to do was work on my physical and mental health including getting my hormones back to normal. I started talking to a counselor about this all and began to really start to heal. Then everything happened last year and I haven’t wanted to try again. Part of me is afraid to try as it is my last chance. While I haven’t tried there is always hope, once I try, that is it.

But I am working through it all and hopefully I will be in a place to try again.